Confession #1.
I am a self confessed gold digger.
I am like all of those thirsty bitches in Kanye's video.
And you know what's funny? You're all probably just the same but you don't want to admit it.
How can we deny the attractiveness of a man who can afford to shower you in gifts? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind buying my own things, I've done it since I've had a job but I do not find anything more attractive than a man who can afford to treat me to nice things. A man who can treat him self, also, and is suave as f*** in his slick suits and white audi.
(I am too shallow to know the difference between cars but if it looks good, makes a sound that makes my fanny beat and other guys look at it in the street, I'm cool).
I know it's a long shot but any man who has an income to support a household brings out all the brooding mums in us, however much you deny it.
Now, that's a long way off, so we will all just have to remain having sex in range rovers and dining in swanky restaurants. Sorry, but how could anyone say 'no'?
You are lying to yourself if you say you would refuse to be treated every once in a while.
Confession #2.
I will not ask for gifts but I will return them with sexual favours to make the gifts more frequent.
--- Psychology, girls, use it to your advantage.
If you do not have the money to buy dinner or a silky tie every now and again they will not complain if you do a little more in the bedroom... And I do not mean feather dusting. Although nowadays, even feather dusting is probably a sick fetish that has a meaning on Urban Dictionary that I am too scared to google now I've thought about it.
Ok I google'd. It's not bad. Crisis averted.
Confession #3.
I will judge people on Tinder by what they're studying/what their profession is.
And I will shamelessly google 'average salary for...'
NOTE: this is not a deal breaker.
But if a less than average guy has a good income then I might just stick around to see if his personality is worth the dollar. If his income is less than the average UK salary (rougly £26,000) AND he is no more than a 6 then I will swipe left. Every time. Sorry lads.
Confession #4.
I have considered joining one of those 'Sugar Daddy' websites.
The only reason I haven't is because I don't know how I'd explain it to my mum if she were to ever find out.
You don't have to have sex with the guy. Just hang off his arm like an over priced Barbie and kiss him on the cheek to make all the other guys jealous.
In return, he will buy you nice things and take you on nice dates and give you an allowance to wax and get hair cuts and nails done and everything a girl loves. #dream.
I've always had a thing for an older man anyway...
Confession #5.
It makes me feel good.
When a guy wants to spoil me and make me feel nice and buy me pretty things "because pretty people deserve pretty things" - it's nice to know that he knows what you like and he will buy the things that make you smile.
He does it to make you happy. Because he likes to see those moments when you squeal with happiness and jump on him and shower him with kisses because you are so grateful for what he's bought you.
If he didn't want to buy you gifts, he wouldn't, believe me.
In conclusion, you would be a lot happier with your man if you didn't have to worry about bills and food and things like that. Just put it on his AmEx.
I'm not saying love isn't important and physical attractiveness shouldn't be taken into consideration but COME ON. Be a gold digger with me and accept the gifts and enjoy the feeling it gives you when he surprises you with a present.
However, I can imagine it gets super hard deciding which Tiffany ring to put on in the morning. And having all those Louboutins that don't get to see the sunlight because they're not suitable for uni. #firstworldproblems.
Watch out, lads.
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