Confession #1.
I am a self confessed gold digger.
I am like all of those thirsty bitches in Kanye's video.
And you know what's funny? You're all probably just the same but you don't want to admit it.
How can we deny the attractiveness of a man who can afford to shower you in gifts? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind buying my own things, I've done it since I've had a job but I do not find anything more attractive than a man who can afford to treat me to nice things. A man who can treat him self, also, and is suave as f*** in his slick suits and white audi.
(I am too shallow to know the difference between cars but if it looks good, makes a sound that makes my fanny beat and other guys look at it in the street, I'm cool).
I know it's a long shot but any man who has an income to support a household brings out all the brooding mums in us, however much you deny it.
Now, that's a long way off, so we will all just have to remain having sex in range rovers and dining in swanky restaurants. Sorry, but how could anyone say 'no'?
You are lying to yourself if you say you would refuse to be treated every once in a while.
Confession #2.
I will not ask for gifts but I will return them with sexual favours to make the gifts more frequent.
--- Psychology, girls, use it to your advantage.
If you do not have the money to buy dinner or a silky tie every now and again they will not complain if you do a little more in the bedroom... And I do not mean feather dusting. Although nowadays, even feather dusting is probably a sick fetish that has a meaning on Urban Dictionary that I am too scared to google now I've thought about it.
Ok I google'd. It's not bad. Crisis averted.
Confession #3.
I will judge people on Tinder by what they're studying/what their profession is.
And I will shamelessly google 'average salary for...'
NOTE: this is not a deal breaker.
But if a less than average guy has a good income then I might just stick around to see if his personality is worth the dollar. If his income is less than the average UK salary (rougly £26,000) AND he is no more than a 6 then I will swipe left. Every time. Sorry lads.
Confession #4.
I have considered joining one of those 'Sugar Daddy' websites.
The only reason I haven't is because I don't know how I'd explain it to my mum if she were to ever find out.
You don't have to have sex with the guy. Just hang off his arm like an over priced Barbie and kiss him on the cheek to make all the other guys jealous.
In return, he will buy you nice things and take you on nice dates and give you an allowance to wax and get hair cuts and nails done and everything a girl loves. #dream.
I've always had a thing for an older man anyway...
Confession #5.
It makes me feel good.
When a guy wants to spoil me and make me feel nice and buy me pretty things "because pretty people deserve pretty things" - it's nice to know that he knows what you like and he will buy the things that make you smile.
He does it to make you happy. Because he likes to see those moments when you squeal with happiness and jump on him and shower him with kisses because you are so grateful for what he's bought you.
If he didn't want to buy you gifts, he wouldn't, believe me.
In conclusion, you would be a lot happier with your man if you didn't have to worry about bills and food and things like that. Just put it on his AmEx.
I'm not saying love isn't important and physical attractiveness shouldn't be taken into consideration but COME ON. Be a gold digger with me and accept the gifts and enjoy the feeling it gives you when he surprises you with a present.
However, I can imagine it gets super hard deciding which Tiffany ring to put on in the morning. And having all those Louboutins that don't get to see the sunlight because they're not suitable for uni. #firstworldproblems.
Watch out, lads.
♥
Friendship is two minds in one body
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
Monday, 9 March 2015
WE WENT TO CRUFTS
Who knew there were two 6 o'clocks in the day??
We certainly didn't when we had to wake up for a 7 o'clock departure! What a killer.
The day started with Tom not getting out of bed (nothing new there) and catching Rosie up with what she said in her sleep - made more sense than what she says in real life! This was continued by naps on the bus all the way to Birmingham NEC!!!
Once we got there, excitement levels went through the roof as we started to see dogs of all shapes and sizes making their way through the car park to the arena. We were also excited that we were next to an airport and could have made a cheeky get away to some exotic location - unfortunately I don't think we would have made it home in time for the coach though. I don't think Jacqueline would have been too impressed.
Now let me ask you something, what kind of event doesn't let you keep the ticket stub?? WE HAVE SCRAPBOOKS PEOPLE! So we sweet talked the ladies and made sure we kept those stubs. #memories4lyf
On entering there were dogs left right and centre, even the dog-a-log we packed for informational reference couldn't keep up! We were truly in our element.
We first made our way over to the biggest stand in sight, which happened to be one of the sponsors of Crufts 2015 - Samsung. In this stand we saw a £20,000 dog kennel, complete with flat screen TV, swimming pool and treadmill - what a spoiled pooch that would be! This stand is where we collected our first freebie and we were hooked. Even though this freebie was just a tote bag with leaflets inside, it made us only more determined to get the better samples.
Adaptil was our next venture and this is where we petted and played with our first dogs of the day - you would have thought we had never seen a dog before with how excited we got! This is also where we collected our second freebie bag! This time with more inside! We were getting good at this.
After this we headed to 'discover dogs' where each breed had its own booth with actual real life dogs representing that breed inside. OH MY GOODNESS SO MANY DOGS, it was euphoric and we probably spent about 70% of our time there. We saw many personal favourites which included the Japanese Akita, Leonberger, Otterhound, Rottweilers and Labs (that list could have been much longer!) But we did also see breeds that aren't as well known such as the Kooikerhondje (try saying that 6 times faster) the Hungarian Pumi and the Azawakh. And of course selfies were taken with as many breeds as possible.
Later in the day we finally left the 'discover dogs' area after surgically removing ourselves from all of those beautiful doggies, and made our way to the main arena. En route we passed the group judgings for some of the Utility breeds, where we watched an Akita win his group and also passed where Claire Balding herself presents the TV show from. Hi Claire if you're reading, gutted we missed you, would have been one hell of a selfie #breaktheinternet.
Once we finally found suitable seats we watched the golden retriever display team, police dog handling display, Gundog display, RAF display and Canine Partners. All making us realise even more how intelligent and valuable every dog is.
We ended the day combing the stores for freebies and claiming our free hot drinks - whilst getting another freebie. We had a very successful day, if I do say so myself, and came away with enough dog supplies to feed our dogs for at least a day (they all eat a lot) We are now officially professional free sample collectors.
Unfortunately we didn't manage to smuggle any dogs home with us. Le cry.
We certainly didn't when we had to wake up for a 7 o'clock departure! What a killer.
The day started with Tom not getting out of bed (nothing new there) and catching Rosie up with what she said in her sleep - made more sense than what she says in real life! This was continued by naps on the bus all the way to Birmingham NEC!!!
Once we got there, excitement levels went through the roof as we started to see dogs of all shapes and sizes making their way through the car park to the arena. We were also excited that we were next to an airport and could have made a cheeky get away to some exotic location - unfortunately I don't think we would have made it home in time for the coach though. I don't think Jacqueline would have been too impressed.
Now let me ask you something, what kind of event doesn't let you keep the ticket stub?? WE HAVE SCRAPBOOKS PEOPLE! So we sweet talked the ladies and made sure we kept those stubs. #memories4lyf
On entering there were dogs left right and centre, even the dog-a-log we packed for informational reference couldn't keep up! We were truly in our element.
We first made our way over to the biggest stand in sight, which happened to be one of the sponsors of Crufts 2015 - Samsung. In this stand we saw a £20,000 dog kennel, complete with flat screen TV, swimming pool and treadmill - what a spoiled pooch that would be! This stand is where we collected our first freebie and we were hooked. Even though this freebie was just a tote bag with leaflets inside, it made us only more determined to get the better samples.
Adaptil was our next venture and this is where we petted and played with our first dogs of the day - you would have thought we had never seen a dog before with how excited we got! This is also where we collected our second freebie bag! This time with more inside! We were getting good at this.
After this we headed to 'discover dogs' where each breed had its own booth with actual real life dogs representing that breed inside. OH MY GOODNESS SO MANY DOGS, it was euphoric and we probably spent about 70% of our time there. We saw many personal favourites which included the Japanese Akita, Leonberger, Otterhound, Rottweilers and Labs (that list could have been much longer!) But we did also see breeds that aren't as well known such as the Kooikerhondje (try saying that 6 times faster) the Hungarian Pumi and the Azawakh. And of course selfies were taken with as many breeds as possible.
If you hadn't guessed this is Tom.
Later in the day we finally left the 'discover dogs' area after surgically removing ourselves from all of those beautiful doggies, and made our way to the main arena. En route we passed the group judgings for some of the Utility breeds, where we watched an Akita win his group and also passed where Claire Balding herself presents the TV show from. Hi Claire if you're reading, gutted we missed you, would have been one hell of a selfie #breaktheinternet.
Once we finally found suitable seats we watched the golden retriever display team, police dog handling display, Gundog display, RAF display and Canine Partners. All making us realise even more how intelligent and valuable every dog is.
We ended the day combing the stores for freebies and claiming our free hot drinks - whilst getting another freebie. We had a very successful day, if I do say so myself, and came away with enough dog supplies to feed our dogs for at least a day (they all eat a lot) We are now officially professional free sample collectors.
Unfortunately we didn't manage to smuggle any dogs home with us. Le cry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)